Exclusive Sneak Peek at New Twi Fan Fic

Cover by chantelleexx

As I mentioned in my previous post, I am writing a sequel to my very first fan fiction novel, Evening Star which starts at the prom at the close of Twilight and ends with Edward leaving Bella in New Moon and is written exclusively in Edward's point of view. 

In the Night Watches actually starts with a short story I have already published, "On Our Way Home," and will continue through the end of New Moon and into Eclipse as Bella makes her peace with Edward and the Cullen family after they all deserted her with nary a goodbye. There will be significant angst and anger as Bella readjusts to having the Cullens, especially Edward, in her life once again while also balancing her relationship with Jacob. 

Again, this fan fiction novel will be written from Edward's POV as he watches Bella struggle with the betrayal she feels at the Cullens' return and reintroduction into her life. And Edward also has significant struggles as well, namely with the fact that Jacob has neatly inserted himself into Bella's life, and Edward does not trust him any more than Jacob trusts him and the Cullens as a whole. Bella is caught in the middle, and she is definitely not happy about it. 

So that's the premise of In the Night Watches...and here is a rough, unpublished chapter that occurs after the short story "On Our Way Home" (which is available on both Wattpad and FanFiction.net). I may end up placing something after "One Our Way Home" and before this chapter when I actually start posting officially (and no, I don't know exactly when that will be--sorry!), but this chapter in some form will be somewhere near the beginning of the new story. 

Enjoy! :)

            The doors slammed shut, the reverberations of Charlie's anger echoing through the small house.

            But I couldn't help being proud of Bella for standing up for me to her dad. She had been magnificent—declaring to Charlie that we were a "package deal."

            Of course, I couldn't blame Charlie for forbidding Bella to see me. While his mind was mostly silent to me, occasional images broke through.

            And if I didn't happen to live for Bella’s sake, I would return to the Volturi this instant and beg for my death—which I obviously deserved from the glimpses of Bella during my absence that came to Charlie during their argument.

            "I don't trust him. He's rotten for you. I won't let him mess you up like that again," he had told Bella, and, hiding in her closet like a child, I saw the Bella Charlie had to deal with during my absence.

            So thin. So pale. Her beautiful, expressive eyes dull and unseeing. Her arms wrapped defensively around her middle as if she were trying to hold herself together.

            And the nightmares—night after night of her screams echoing through the house, Charlie remaining in his bed, agonizing over Bella's pain yet unable to help her. His feelings of utter uselessness in the face of his daughter's grief and loss rekindled his anger toward me.

            And deservedly so.

            But Bella had threatened to move out if Charlie wouldn't allow me back into his house…and back into Bella's life.

            And Charlie, despite his worn-out threat of Florida, wanted Bella with him more than anything on earth.

            I could hear Charlie downstairs, banging his mug on the counter as he poured himself his morning coffee. He was still livid over Bella's ultimatum which basically cornered him. But as long as Bella was under his roof, he had some ultimatums as well: punishment for going missing for three whole days without a phone call and without any indication of where she was or whether she was safe. And these punishments would be designed to separate Bella from myself as much as possible…humanly possible, that is.

            I stifled a groan at Charlie's smug thoughts of curfews, rules, and many others schemes to keep Bella and me apart. No, it wouldn't be easy, but Bella and I could bend the rules in ways that Charlie would never know about.

            Starting with what I had done mere moments ago: stealing into Bella's room through the window.

            Bella sighed, and I whisked from her closet to the rocking chair, waiting to continue our conversation…about marriage, a topic dear to my heart yet repulsive to my beautiful girl. I could only hope that my considerable powers of persuasion would wear down Bella's resistance.

            "Sorry about that," Bella sighed, nodding toward her door to indicate Charlie's unflattering (but truthful) opinion of me that he had voiced.

            I shrugged. "It's not as if I don't deserve far worse. Don't start anything with Charlie over me, please."

            Bella gathered a clean set of clothing and her bathroom things. "Don't worry about it," she assured me, but her brief smile did not reach her eyes. "I will start exactly as much as is necessary, and no more than that." She widened her eyes jokingly. "Or are you trying to tell me that I have nowhere to go?”

            I rolled my eyes. "You’d move in with a house full of vampires?" I asked. Of course she would.

            "That's probably the safest place for someone like me. Besides, if Charlie kicks me out, then there's no need for a graduation deadline, is there?" Her grin was teasing, but beneath it, I could tell that Bella was completely serious.

            "So eager for eternal damnation," I muttered, definitely not joking, either. She truly had no concept of attempting to exist as a bloodthirsty, soulless monster…forever.

            It was Bella's turn to roll her eyes. "You know you don't really believe that," she stated, and her complete certainty surprised me.

            "Oh, don't I?" I asked rhetorically. She had to understand the repercussions, but all she saw were the human qualities of my family, not the monsters we were beneath the façade.

            She grinned at me, utterly unconcerned about facing a fuming vampire. "No. You don't."

            Glaring at her, I opened my mouth to retort, but Bella cut me off. "If you really believed that you lost your soul, then when I found you in Volterra, you would have realized immediately what was happening, instead of thinking we were both dead together. But you didn't—you said ‘Amazing. Carlisle was right,’" she reminded me, triumph clear in her voice. Leaning toward me, she whispered, "There’s hope in you, after all."

            For once, my beloved rendered me speechless.

            Smiling, she suggested, "So let's both just be hopeful, all right? Not that it matters. If you stay, I don't need heaven."

            Slowly I stood and cupped her face between my palms, gazing into her beautiful milk chocolate eyes. "Forever," I agreed, still reeling from Bella’s revelation. I had been so self-absorbed these months without her that I had to readjust myself to the following the highly unusual machinations of her silent mind.

            Placing her thin arms around my neck, Bella raised herself on tiptoe. "That's all I'm asking for," she whispered.

            And then she kissed me....    


Hope you liked it! 

~Cassandra :)

An Enchanted Evening: A Regency Tale

My new story, An Enchanted Evening: A Regency Tale, is being published in two ways. 

On Wattpad, An Enchanted Evening has been submitted for the Wattpad Prize 2014 as an Original Fiction story. The main characters, William and Elizabeth, struggle with love and danger at the most important ball of the entire London Season during the Regency Period (think Jane Austen). The story, just under 10,000 words, has been published in six parts and has been posted in its entirety. Here is the link for the Original Fiction version on Wattpad: An Enchanted Evening.

But on FanFiction.net, An Enchanted Evening: A Regency Tale is being published as a Twilight fan fiction story. Also in six chapters, with new chapters being posted on Wednesdays and weekends, we see Edward and Isabella at the most important ball of the London Season. This version is slightly different from the Wattpad Original Fiction story which had to be posted in a rush because of the writing contest deadline. I am adding extra details and material to the Fan Fiction version beyond the Original Fiction version since I have time to do so as I post twice weekly until all six parts are up and complete. So there will be differences beyond the name changes between the Original Fiction and Fan Fiction versions of the story. Here is the link for the Fan Fiction version: An Enchanted Evening: A Regency Tale on FFn. The third chapter will be posted tonight. 

As I mentioned in my previous post, this story started as a dream vision Bella had in Chapter 12 of Only by Moonlight. But that ballroom scene was centered in Chicago during Edward's actual lifetime in 1918. When the scene kept growing and developing far beyond what was usable in Only by Moonlight, I set it aside to later write into its own story. I struggled as I wrote it for the World War I time period as I kept imagining a Regency ball, along with the manners and speech of that time period. So I knew before I started any revisions that this new ballroom tale would be set in London during the Regency era. 

So I hope you will enjoy An Enchanted Evening: A Regency Tale, whichever version you decide to read...or even both!! 

Here is a short excerpt from Part I as the story opens (Fan Fiction version):

PART I

            Dreamily I relaxed into his arms—into Edward’s arms—as he whirled me across the candlelit ballroom. My midnight blue gown flared around me beautifully with every turn and twirl of the intricate waltz, still considered somewhat scandalous here in London because the couples danced so closely, so intimately, with one another. Smiling widely, I gloried in my proximity to Edward, my frequently clumsy feet never hesitating as I followed my partner’s confident leading.

            The most lavish ball of the Season was being held at the Earl and Countess of Allanham’s townhouse. Anyone who was anyone coveted an invitation. And through my Aunt Jane Carville’s social connections, she had been able to obtain one of the treasured cards which had graced the mantel of the blue parlor since its arrival, announcing to all visitors that we had been invited to attend the exalted engagement.

            Pushing all other thoughts out of my mind, I tilted my head, smiling up at Mr. Edward Masen, Esquire, as he grinned back almost mischievously. But too soon the orchestra drew the waltz to a graceful close, the dancers twirling to a stop and the murmur of low conversation filling the beautifully-mirrored ballroom as the gentlemen returned their partners to the chairs along the edges of the room before seeking fresh faces and feet for the next set of dances.    

            As we vacated the center of the ballroom, Edward offered me his strong forearm which I gratefully accepted after the exertions of the dance. Extending my fan to waft cooler air toward my face, I could feel my face glowing pink due to the exercise, the heat of the crowded room, and my excitement at Edward’s kind attention.

            “Would you prefer to step out on the balcony for a moment, Miss Swan?” he asked, noticing my need for fresh air.

*****

And I just sent Chapter 14 of Only by Moonlight to my lovely and talented pre-reader, ladylibre, yesterday. So I hope to post it this weekend as well--or soon after. 

Enjoy!!

Warmly,

~Cassandra :)

xxxooo

Busy, Busy...but a PbF Excerpt to Make Amends....

Ugh...real life interrupts writing again....

This week we started our 16th year of homeschooling, with my boybarians in grades 7, 10, and 12. Co-op classes begin next week. But the first few weeks are all about finding our "groove." I'm using different curricula for all three boys, with a few tried-and-true faves still in the mix. 

I hope to pick back up with Pinned but Fluttering and be posting this weekend. Life just has been crazy with planning, ordering textbooks, and then getting used to our new schedule which starts an hour earlier than we used to so that I have time for my jobs. I start teaching online classes again next week and my full-and-with-a-waiting-list expository writing class the following week after that. I also have curriculum writing and rewriting to do for work...both of which I've fallen a bit behind in doing over the last two weeks with starting a new homeschool year. 

Part of me can't believe that summer is over and that I have to begin teaching again. Summer never really felt like summer with teaching the online fan fiction class and with working all summer on curriculum development. But the boys are slowly falling into their patterns and they're getting done with school around 2:30 which leaves me with several hours to work and teach online courses before physical therapy and dinner. 

Since I'm soooo late on this next chapter of Pinned but Fluttering, I think I'll give you what I've written so far. Please keep in mind that this is a first draft and will undergo several revisions before I publish it online. But this is everything I've written so far for Chapter 42:

Feeling perfectly at home in Edward's embrace was a new but very welcome development. As I mentally thumbed through my human memories, fogged as they were, I remembered the tension between us, the constant draw I felt toward him.

And his kiss...our kiss: tender, restrained, joyous. 

And his declaration. 

Edward loved me.

I looked up at him, certain that the wonder I felt was plain in my expression. He smiled down at me, his eyes warm and tender. 

“Shall we go for a walk?” he asked quietly.

A walk? I felt confused for a moment, then I cottoned on. A walk...away from the prying eyes and too-sensitive ears of his family. A walk seemed like an excellent idea.

I nodded. He gave my hands a gentle squeeze, then turned his back on the crowded room and led me out the back door of the house.

Exchanging a look of amused annoyance, we ignored Emmett's loud wolf-whistle as we closed the door behind us, Edward rolling his eyes.

He reached for my hand, and it seemed perfectly natural to allow his long fingers to fold around my much smaller hand, and we exchanged shy smiles.

Following a narrow path, Edward led me along the riverbank. The scenery was lovely; we were shaded by majestic Douglas Firs, spreading cedars, and ancient oaks. As we walked hand-in-hand in comfortable silence, the music of the gently running water soothing and peaceful, my eyes drank in the amazing detail of our natural surroundings now afforded by my new vampiric vision.

After strolling slowly, even for humans, Edward pulled me to a cluster of rocks that jutted over the river bank. We seated ourselves side-by-side, our feet dangling several feet above the surface of the gently-moving water. He took my hand again, and with a smug grin I noticed that we were both the same temperature now.

It wasn't actually sunny—this is Forks, after all—but the pale sunlight sifted through the trees and warmed us. I peered up at him shyly through my eyelashes and was astounded to see his face aglow in the late-afternoon light. Twisting toward Edward, I lifted my hands to his face, marveling at the radiance of his visage between my hands. And my hands were luminous as well.

I think my mouth popped open with surprise at the brilliance of his skin...our skin. Between my palms, Edward smiled...no, smirked at me.

“Haven't you seen a vampire in the sun before?” he teased.

“As a matter of fact, I haven't,” I returned nonchalantly, trying to hide how awestruck I really was. “It's a good thing that we don't burn to a crisp or something in the sun, right?” It was my turn to smirk.

“Myth,” he said softly, and his expression shifted swiftly from amused to desirous.

As quickly as his expression changed, my mood did as well. With his face still in my hands, I leaned forward and pressed my cool lips to his. It was bliss...sheer bliss...kissing Edward like this.

But I was in no way expecting what happened next....

I'll keep on writing and will hopefully have the new chapter up over this next weekend. Thanks for understanding!! 

Love to you all,
Cassandra xxxooo

Excerpt from Jane Eyre Fan Fic

Photo from Bel Ami--but Rob could easily portray a young Edward Fairfax Rochester, no?

After thinking about the obvious similarities between Twilight and Jane Eyre, I sat down and started writing a one-shot from Edward Rochester's POV of the morning in which he finds that Jane has left Thornfield. It still needs *a lot* of work as I focus on writing with the vocabulary and cadence of the mid-nineteenth century in which Jane Eyre was set and written.

So let me know what you think as I write from a different (but strikingly similar) Edward's POV:

“My Hope—My Love—My Life”: A Jane Eyre Alternative POV

I paced the floors of my room all the night. Unable to find escape in repose, unable to still my restless mind and body, I walked, each breath a sigh of anguish.

My Jane.

She had looked so beautiful yesterday morn, robed so unaccountably in white rather than in her dark, simple gowns. Her face aglow with expectation and happiness, she descended the stairs to my anxious impatience. 

After declaring her “fair as a lily, and not only the pride of my life, but the desire of my eyes,” I hurried her through a breakfast that neither of us wanted.

Although wound as tightly as a watch spring, I made all the practical arrangements necessary to ensure our swift leaving of Thornfield as soon as we were legally wed. I refused to allow my conscience its voice as it declared to me roundly: This young innocent shall never be your legal wife, for you are already wed to another. It makes no matter that you were mightily deceived, for today you commit two sins: first, the breaking of your wedding vows to your first wife to whom you are legally, if not morally, bound, and, second, the deception and wrong you do to Jane. For no matter how utterly and completely you love this young girl, you well know that these vows you shall speak before God and the witnesses gathered in God's House are false when you remain legally bound to another, no matter her mental instability.

But I dismissed the loud objections of my conscience, determined to fully own the one thing I desired above all others: the fragile yet indomitable woman-child, Jane Eyre. Knowing well that I would not breathe easily until Jane was made legally and bindingly mine, I had nearly dragged her to the small chapel, holding her childlike hand in mine as, grimly resolute, I strode through the house, out the wide front doors of Thornfield Hall, and just beyond the gates to the small but ancient chapel in which our wedding ceremony was to proceed.

It was only as we reached the churchyard gate that I realized that Jane, her tiny legs forced to run to keep up with my long, determined strides, was nearly faint from my rushing her so. Her face was nearly as pale as her gown, and a light sheen of perspiration covered her face; her lips were as colorless as her cheeks, and I berated myself for my unforgivable hurry.

“Am I cruel in my love?” I inquired solicitously. “Delay an instant; lean on me, Jane.”

Her arm wrapped around mine, Jane filled her lungs with the crisp morning air, and very soon all was well once more, and Jane and I entered the church.

As Jane had regathered her strength after my rushing her to the church, I had noted two strangers speaking quietly in the shadows of churchyard. Both entered quietly as Jane and I took our places at the communion rails, preparing to speak our vows to one another.

The service began but then was rudely interrupted. Even now I cannot bear to think on the flurry of activity that took place once our wedding was broken off for a mere “insuperable impediment to this marriage.”

I battered my poor Jane with the truth, with the attempt at bigamy, at the presence of my first wife, crazed and murderous, within the very walls of Thornfield Hall. She took all in, her eyes becoming larger and her visage paler with each revelation. I asserted Jane's innocence in the legal matters, then escorted clergyman, wife-to-never-be, and our two guests to view the “wife” whom legally belonged to me.

After I had effectively tussled with and restrained my mad wife, I had told the shocked witnesses, “And this is what I wished to have,” as I rested a hand on her delicate shoulder, “this young girl, who stands so grave and quiet at the mouth of hell, looking collectedly at the gambols of a demon.” I asked my witnesses to compare the wild Mrs. Rochester, at present bound to a chair for her safety and ours, to the young girl beside me and demanded their judgment.

But now, as I paced my floor this long, long night, I thought I knew judgment; however, my own judgment had scarcely commenced.

***

So this is what I have written thus far. Please keep in mind that this is only a first draft, so I hope to improve it and extend it. 

Please do let me know what you think. :)

Always writing,

~Cassandra :)

Excerpt from New Story

On Monday morning, I responded to a reader who asked if I would be writing a sequel to Evening Star, my first book-length fan fic. I told her that I wouldn't, but that my plan was to write several short stories from all four books, written from Edward's point of view. 


As I wrote the reply, an idea flashed through my mind along with the opening words to this new story. I sat down at my laptop and started typing, writing several pages of this story. I hope to work on this story this week during my vacation; we'll see how quickly I can finish it. 


The first title I gave the story was "Death and Life," but I've changed it now to "Resurrected." Here is a short excerpt for you; I hope you enjoy it!

But it couldn't be true.

Bella would never do...that.

She had promised. I remembered how dead her eyes looked when she had promised.

Perhaps Bella took great satisfaction in breaking her promises; god knows I broke all of the promises I had made to her...or had been on the cusp of doing so for months. 

I didn't know where I was walking. The streets were packed shoulder-to-shoulder with humans who shoved against my frozen body, but I didn't care. My eyes must have been black with thirst since I hadn't been able to feed in months, yet not one human scent tempted me despite their proximity.

Only when I thought back later to this scene did I realize that the people walking toward me were frightened by my blank stare, my eyes dead and black within a perfect white face. More than one thought I was the angel of death.

And really, I was.

The angel of my own death.

Because I knew exactly what I was going to do.

After all, the plan had been made long ago—a year ago when pursuing Bella through the shimmering streets of Phoenix to save her from James. I knew then what I knew now. 

I can not live in a world in which Isabella Marie Swan does not exist.

As I walked, I crushed the vibrating cell phone in my hand, tossing it into the nearest trash receptacle.

I didn't care who was calling.

They weren't going to stop me.

I will be posting the finished story on both Wattpad.com and FanFiction.net as soon as I complete it. I'm really excited about this short story; I just love writing from Edward's POV. He is such a fascinating character with so many intriguing facets.


Thanks for reading!! And I'll be posting the new chapter of Pinned but Fluttering tonight as well; Chapter 38 has turned out to be a pivotal chapter, and I hope that you all like it!! 


PS Sorry for the weird font sizes within the excerpt; Blogger is being a pain tonight! 


Take care, my friends~
~Cassandra :) 

Teaser from New Story "On Our Way Home"

"On Our Way Home" was the first one-shot I started writing last summer, I think. I hadn't touched it much since then; it was barely over a page and needed some major re-vamping (please forgive the pun).


I'm thinking that, unless I run into a major case of writer's block, I should be able to complete this story as a special Easter gift (in addition to Chapter 31 of PbF).


So here's the beginning of it...and I hope that you like it (or absolutely adore it!!). And yes, it's short.... :(

"On Our Way Home"
EPOV from New Moon


After helping Bella into the window seat, I placed her backpack in the small compartment over our heads while Alice slid hers next to it. I gently closed the door before moving in from the crowded aisle as tired tourists filed past us, toting their carry-on bags. Sliding into the aisle seat, I gazed once again into the beautiful eyes that I had never thought to see alight with life again.

Bella gave me a tight smile, the same smile I had seen pass over her features only a few times since we left Volterra hours ago.

There was something very wrong with that smile, haunting me, mitigating the joy that had exploded within me in that shadowed alley as I realized that I held a living, breathing Bella in my arms, the joy that had been renewed when our safety became a reality as Alice guided the stolen sedan out of Volterra limits.

Thankful for the wide first class seats that Alice had insisted upon, miraculously obtaining them with much sweet talking and several generous bribes, I lifted the dividing arm between our seats, placing my arm around Bella's too-thin shoulders and pulling her against my chest. Now she could sleep at last. Ignoring Alice's frantic whispers to Jasper on her cell from the seat behind me, I sighed as I noted again the changes in Bella's appearance: the deep purple circles under her eyes, the dull paleness of her face, the lankness of her once-shiny hair, the loss of fifteen pounds of weight, and, most concerning of all, the tug-of-war behind those beautiful brown eyes. Gazing into them once again as I cupped her thin face in my palm, I saw her love for me war with uncertainty, hurt, anxiety, and, worrying me the most, fear.

What was Bella afraid of now?

So, please, let me know what you think. And, yes...it's short and terse...still in rough draft form. But I have always been captivated by these scenes in the book and with my opportunity to play in Edward's POV...why not?


Have a wonderful week, my writerly and readerly friends!!


Warmly,

Cassandra :)

Excerpt from Chapter 30 of Pinned but Fluttering

I've started writing the much-anticipated Chapter 30 of Pinned but Fluttering. Yep, last night at nearly two in the morning, I sat in my bathroom, scribbling dialogue and details onto two-inch-square Christmas-themed Post-Its. I ended up with seven closely-written Post-Its that I transcribed with my now-beloved Dragon Speech-to-Text software this afternoon.


Because I left my readers hanging with a fairly nasty cliffhanger at the end of Chapter 29, then posted an Outtake after Chapter 28 (in Edward's POV, no less), I felt that you all deserved a sneak peek into Chapter 30.


NOTE: This is a very rough draft of the first words of the chapter; they may be altered quite a bit in the final draft. (Or not.)  And it's fairly short....


Okay, you ready for this????


Chapter 30

"Edward? Please," came Carlisle's clear voice, clipped and tight with stress.

At long last, Edward halted his manic pacing, electing to lean against the wall nearest the grand staircase. He rested the back of his head against the wall, closing his eyes and sighing dramatically. His face was drawn, as if he were being pulled to pieces on some medieval torture device. I could not figure him out for the life of me...but I found myself relaxing slightly as his frantic movements finally stilled. But his agonized expression kept me tense with a feeling of dread in the pit of my stomach....

The lovely Rosalie rolled her eyes in perturbation at Edward's melancholy histronics, apparently quite at the end of her extremely limited patience when it came to Edward...or me.

My eyes flew from one Cullen to the next, noting the too–serious expression in every single pair of golden eyes. Everyone was strung nearly as tightly as Edward...and that was really saying something. Even Esme and Carlisle looked abnormally anxious, exchanging frequent and rapid glances of reassurance to one another.

After sending each of his family members a silent warning to let him speak--something I caught onto but probably wasn't supposed to--Carlisle leaned forward, his jaw tight with concern as he spoke quietly. "I'm nearly certain that you have some questions for us, Isabella. Am I correct in this assumption?"

My throat suddenly seemed desert–dry. Clearing my throat once, then twice, it still remained too dry for speaking. Panicked, I looked to Esme, my hand raised to my neck in a silent plea for a drink.

Nodding in understanding, Esme disappeared for a moment, then re-entered the room with a tray bearing a full crystal pitcher and three tall tea glasses which she set on the coffee table before me. Carlisle reached for the pitcher, which seemed to be filled with lemonade, and poured half a glass, silently passing it to me. Grasping the tall glass in both hands, I gulped down several swallows of the sweet-tart lemonade. It was so like Esme to consider my comfort above all else and make me one of my favorite drinks, even during this extremely tense time. I nearly choked in my eagerness to drink, and, as I spluttered, my eyes flew to Emmett who was attempting to stifle a laugh behind his huge hand.... I muffled my smile, realizing that humor was highly inappropriate in this tense setting.

At my awkward spluttering, Edward had pushed off from his position along the wall as if to help me. Apparently he determined that I was only klutzy and in no real danger as he woodenly turned away, the fingers of one hand gripping the bridge of his nose, and returned to his place against the wall...all without uttering a sound.

I took another long--and this time slow--drink from the glass, then set it down carefully on the tray. Before I responded, I looked into Carlisle's eyes which had always calmed me before--but his obvious worry brought me no peace this time.

I would have to answer his question, remembering how he had spoken, quietly fearful, as if my reply could ruin a great deal.

As perhaps it could....

"Yes," I managed to croak at long last, looking only at Carlisle. I swallowed nervously, then continued, "Yes, I have some questions for you."

I took a deep breath, and then the questions began pouring from my lips in an uncontrolled rush....

There! I hope you enjoyed the beginning of Chapter 30. I hope that it all falls together well as it's a pivotal chapter in the story.

Thanks for reading and for supporting me so beautifully!!!!

With love to you all,

Cassandra :)

Another One-Shot in the Works

Okay, I'm working on a new one-shot for all of you, but before I can finish it, I need your professional advice.


Which Wattpad book cover should I use????


Please comment below with your choice!



Choice #1 with "Film Texture"



Choice #2 without Film Texture and a different title font



Choice #3 (although the first one I created)



So, in addition to choosing the Wattpad book cover, I thought I'd give you all a little sneak-peek at "The Long Night," a one-shot written in Edward's POV of a certain incident in Eclipse. Please keep in mind that this excerpt is from the first draft, with no editing:

“Bella?” Charlie called to her, and I heard her creeping past the back of his sofa stop and the whisk of air as she turned to face him.

I heard his gasp as he took in Bella's bedraggled appearance, her red, swollen eyes still leaking tears down her drawn, set face, her arms folded defensively.

His mind immediately jumped to the worst-case scenario: Jacob had died from his injuries sustained in his “motorcycle accident.” Why else would Bella be so horribly upset—crying like he had never seen her cry...even after “he” (meaning myself) had left her.

That hurt...knowing that he'd never seen Bella so upset over my absence as she was now. Not that I wanted her to suffer—God no! But Charlie's thoughts had planted an insidious seed, one that I should try to kill off before it germinated.

But it already had.

Perhaps Bella was saying “goodbye” to the wrong one of us.

If she was suffering so dreadfully over Jacob—and had not suffered so when I had left—then she would be miserable with me.

She must be staying with me out of some misguided sense of honor—of not wanting to break her word to me, not want to let me down.

Bella knew what I was capable of—my mad dash to destroy myself in Volterra just a few months ago must have affected her more than I knew. Perhaps she was afraid that I would attempt suicide again if she left, so she stayed with me out of a misplaced sense of guilt, not wanting to cause anyone harm—not me, not my family if I should be successful this time.

So she was willing to sacrifice her feelings for Jacob—her love for Jacob, for she admitted to me today that she did indeed love him—to keep me safe.

That was exactly the kind of thing Bella would do.

And the agony that accompanied this realization was unspeakable...the only time I had been in worse pain was during those indescribable twenty-four hours during which I thought she was dead in March.

O God—what have I done?

I couldn't allow Bella to sacrifice her happiness for my sake. Although it would be agonizing, I needed to let her go so that she could pursue the one she truly loved.

Engagement or no engagement.

I hope to have the entire story up by tonight, tomorrow at the latest. So please, comment on which cover you prefer and on the bit of the first draft I've posted here.


Thanks ever so.


Love,
Cassandra :)

Two New One-Shots

HAPPY NEW YEAR, DEAR READERS!!!

I have a little surprise for you all. Despite being a day late in posting the next Chapter 20 of Pinned but Fluttering, I've also started two one-shots. And they're both written from Edward's point-of-view.

Neither one is very cheerful; I hope that the despair I'm writing won't be an indication of the dominant tone of the new year.

One is canon, called A Long Night taken from Eclipse. It's Edward's POV of the night when Bella cries over Jacob. I've only written a couple of pages; we'll see how it goes. It's intriguing, but not quite as intriguing as the second story which is partially canon.

The second story is at about five pages and is called The Last Day, and it's partly canon, but mostly not. I'm not going to say too much about it, but my hope is to finish it by next weekend. Here's a short excerpt from the rough draft. Let me know what you think:

I had been practically catatonic for the first two years after I left her. I had fled my family immediately after leaving Bella, throwing myself into my Volvo and driving mindlessly into the wilds of Canada, stopping only to refuel the car.

I finally ended up on the shores of a gigantic stretch of water in the northeast of Canada—Hudson Bay I discovered later. There I had parked the car on a deserted dirt road and walked to the edge of the water where I sank to my knees, sobbing tearlessly.

I don't know how long I stayed there, curled up, arms wrapped around my knees, knees under my chin, rocking back and forth as the grief overtook me, my eyes remained unseeingly fixed on the calm waters. I'm sure that Alice must have seen me there, but she must have persuaded the family to let me alone. I was grateful for the solitude; it was all I asked of my empty existence.

The snows soon came, and I remained on the shores of Hudson Bay. I didn't feed—I just couldn't. I could hear the rustling of prey very near: deer, elk, moose, foxes, but I couldn't unfold my body to hunt them.

My body weakened, even the silent rocking of grief finally slowed then stopped as the effects of not feeding took its toll on my immortal body.

The cell phone in my pocket was long dead, probably ruined by the rains that beat down upon me and the snows which built up around me. The only movement I made was to higher ground once the snows arrived—to a large rock that I could easily clear to keep the snows from swallowing me. Not that I would have cared. The persistent cold matched the cold in my heart—the iced over organ that once had glowed with warmth as my lips had met hers....

But stop. I wouldn't let myself think of her; it was too painful. I was barely hanging on as it was; adding memories of my beloved at that time would have ended me.

As she told me later, it was mid-February when I felt a hand on my shoulder. Although I had not detected her thoughts—or theirs—as they approached me, I did not move when I felt her touch.

She bent down in front of me, blocking my view of the iced-over inlet of water that had been my focus for the last five months.

“Edward?” she whispered. “Edward?”

I didn't blink. She looked over her shoulder. “Jazz?” she pleaded softly. She told me later that Jasper was overwhelmed with my despair so much that he had fallen to his knees behind me. He had gathered his forces as well as he could and tried to force his calm, his peace, on me, but nothing could penetrate the silent, private hell in which I had encased myself.

So, anyway, I plan to edit Chapter 20 of Pinned but Fluttering and post it later tonight, then I'll keep working on The Last Day all week and hopefully I'll have it up by next weekend.

Happy New Year, my dear friends!!!! :)

With best wishes for a blessed 2012,
--Cassandra

PS Chapter 20 of Pinned but Fluttering is now up! Enjoy!!

Chapter 19 of Pinned but Fluttering Is Now Up

Chapter 19 of Pinned but Fluttering is by far the longest chapter yet at over 4,000 words and is now available on both Wattpad and FanFiction.net. It's receiving great reviews from both sites and in only a couple of hours has already garnered 25 votes on Wattpad...which is the total number of votes received for the final chapter of Evening Star.

I thought I'd put up an excerpt here from Chapter 19, so here's Bella's flashback to her thirteenth birthday, less than a year after Sarah Black's death. So here 'tis....

The loss of Sarah Black was still a fresh pain for all of us, and Billy had been drinking himself to the point of passing out nearly every night after dinner. Then the two girls left the house to hang out with friends, taking full advantage of the freedom from their usually strict father; they often came home smelling of bourbon, sweet weed, and sex. Rachel and Rebecca, my beloved big sisters who had always watched out for me, were far too caught up in their now-exciting social lives to care that Billy locked me in my room indefinitely as punishment for killing their mother...a punishment they coldly assured me that I fully deserved.

So Jacob hauled his slumped and mumbling father back to his room in the wheelchair and assisted him into bed where he snored away his grief in an alcoholic daze. After the girls left the house in their too-short skirts and too-high heels, Jake would often let me out of my room to watch TV together on the small loveseat. Sometimes I would read while he did homework.

No one had said anything about my birthday all day, and I really didn't care; I didn't deserve a celebration, anyway, and I knew it. But Jacob had been walking around all afternoon with a cat-who-just-ate-the-canary look in his eyes. From behind my deadbolted door, I listened as he helped his intoxicated father to bed, and as Billy's bedroom door clicked closed, Jacob appeared in my room smiling widely. He beckoned, and I hopped off my naked mattress and eagerly followed him into the living room.

Jacob served me half a frozen-but-reheated chicken pot pie for dinner and a shiny red apple...a feast compared to my usual fare. Then his wide grin widened even more, and his black eyes, encircled with dark rings of sleepless nights, sparkled mischievously as I wondered what he was up to.

“Wait here,” Jacob ordered excitedly. “And close your eyes.”

Obediently I masked my eyes with both hands as I heard him rustling about the room. Then just as the curiosity was really getting to me, I heard a whisking sound and smelled the faint sulfur of a lit match.

“Okay, you can look!” he exclaimed.

Lowering my hands, I opened my eyes to see in his large hands a bakery cupcake topped with pink icing and a single lit candle nestled carefully on one of Sarah Black's treasured china plates. Walking carefully forward to keep the candle lit, he laid the plate gently on the coffee table in front of me. Beside it was a large box, wrapped messily in pink tissue paper...and half a roll of Scotch tape. A large silver bow sat crookedly on top of the gift...my only gift.

“Happy Birthday, Bella!” Jacob crowed.

I remember feeling the pressure of tears in my eyes as I took in the lit candle swaying in the movement of air as Jacob plopped beside me onto the loveseat, the inexpertly-wrapped gift, but most of all, the beaming face of Jacob Black, his black eyes dancing with merriment and joy, expressions I hadn't seen on his face since his mother's death.

Leaning over, he grasped the edge of the china plate and brought the cupcake and burning candle between us in the soft half-light of the small room. “Make a wish,” he ordered gently, smiling.

But I sobered. I knew which wish I would make, if turning back the clock were truly possible. If the last year had never happened. If I could change that one night...the night when I had killed Sarah Black, the woman whom everyone loved and adored.

The woman whom I loved and adored.

The woman who became my mother after my mother died.

If I could have switched places with her, if I could be dead in her place so that she could be alive for Billy and Jacob and the girls, I would do it without a second thought.

Billy blamed me, and rightly so. As did Rachel and Rebecca. But Jacob, loyal brother that he was, refused to let me think it was my fault...even though it was.

If it weren't for me, Sarah Black would not have been out on the road that night.

If it weren't for me, clumsily falling out of a tree at the Clearwaters' house while playing hide-and-seek with Leah and Seth, Sarah Black wouldn't have been driving at twilight, taking me to the reservation clinic to x-ray my injured wrist.

If I hadn't been stupid and careless and clumsy as usual, we wouldn't have been in that car, and that drunk driver would have hit someone else or no one else...and Sarah wouldn't have been killed instantly when we hit the tree.

And if I hadn't been the reason for Sarah driving, and if I hadn't walked away with a hairline fracture to my wrist (caused by my fall, not the accident) and a slight concussion, perhaps Billy and the girls wouldn't blame me for their beloved wife's and mother's death.

But none of these wishes were possible.

So as I closed my eyes, I wished desperately that Billy would stop blaming me for Aunt Sarah dying, that he would stop saying I was an angel of death who had caused my mom, my dad, and now his wife to die, and that he would stop drinking and forgive me.

I wished desperately that Rachel and Rebecca would stay home, stay safe, and forgive me.

And I blew out the candle, Jacob smiling at me, his white teeth brilliant in the twilight of the half-darkened room.

Then he thrust the heavy gift into my lap, laughing as I attempted to unwrap the awkward box. Finally I managed to remove the paper with his help, and he helped by slitting open the packing tape with his pocket knife, laughingly refusing to let me handle something so sharp, knowing my track record.

I pulled back the cardboard flaps to reveal a midnight-blue faux leather-bound book, the title embossed in gold print: The Complete Works of William Shakespeare. I had squealed with joy, jumping into Jacob's lap with delighted pleasure.

“Thank you! Thank you, Jacob!! It's wonderful!!” I enthused, wrapping my arms around his neck and hugging him close.

“Do you really like it?” he whispered in my ear.

“I love it,” I assured him, smiling.

I hadn't smiled in months, and it felt good.

With Jake smiling back at me, we sat there on the love seat, practically nose-to-nose, me sitting in Jacob's lap, my arms around his neck.

Our smiles faded a little as the energy between us became charged. I was thirteen, he was turning thirteen in a few months. We had always treated each other as brother and sister.

But something changed at that moment. His eyes fixed unblinkingly on mine, Jacob slowly leaned toward me, tilting his head to the side as his lips touched mine.

I didn't move as he kissed me tentatively, gently, his lips warm and sweet as they pressed against mine. Without conscious thought, my eyes closed, my arms tightened around his neck, and I was kissing him back, our mouths hesitantly moving together.

We both backed away at the same time, his black eyes glowing in the dimly-lit room.

“Happy Birthday, Bella,” he smiled warmly.

I blushed, breathless and strangely pleased.

So there's the big revelation in Chapter 19...the reason why Billy blames Bella for Sarah's death, and why Bella even blames herself. This question was raised in the first chapter, and now we finally have the answer....

And about six more questions, LOL!

I've just started a new one-shot, an EPOV story. I have only about 700 words so far, so we'll see where it goes. I hope to work on it during my break as I don't return to homeschooling or teaching until January 9th.

So, back to writing....

--Cassandra :)